I actually wished I have never been a mum.
Do not get me wrong. I love my kids. Madly deeply. But being a mum is just way too tough.
Never ever in my life, I have think that being a mum is that tough. Listen. It is not challenging. It is tough. To you, my friend, that have not conceived or have a child, please be prepared or think twice before you read on. This will have an impact in your decision surely. But, this is solely my opinion. Do not that this as a decision making guidance whether you should have child or not. It is too sinful – me.
So, are you ready? Are you ready to have to be a mum? Well, if you possess the below mentioned pointers, I would think you are there.. perhaps, able to have one or two..
1. The swallowing skills
The first thing that I learned when I have my first child is to eat fast. Eat as fast as you can because your baby will start asking for you very very soon – regardless is for feeding or wet napkin. So, eat fast. Then come the second child, I learned to swallow food. Why? Because before you sit down and pick up your cutlery, the first child would probably doing some dangerous stunt and before you know it, your second baby has just poo poo.
2. Learn to turn deaf
This skill is very useful. It actually keep your sane and most of the day, as a happier person. Firstly, learn to turn deaf when people start to critic on your children. Don’t be naive and think that everyone love your children as you do. Most of them time, people will start throwing comments on your children as annoying, ugly, not cute, smelly, square face, no hair, ADHD, SID and a lot more. Learn to turn deaf or swallow the words. See, swallowing skills is important right?
See what happen to me when people start throwing words saying my child is a ADHD and SID here.
3. Perfection and OCD is a myth
Yes. It is. I was an OCD. I could not stand folded papers. I change towel and pillow case daily. I spend hours to re key in my contact list in my iPhone to make them organised, by last name followed by middle and first name. All these was a “was”.
When you have kids, accept that the house is neat so long there are space to walk. Things are clean so long they are not spilled with drinks or it looks clean. You do not have luxury time to do what you want but focus on what you need to complete in the freaking few minutes that your children are napping.
4. Be a bad guy – Mum is always the bad guy
At a point of time, I hate going out because my child just can’t sit still for 10 mins! And when I start educating my child, there are audience and judges. People will start going like, a candy or two won’t hurt. Coke won’t kill.
Ok. And now my children is gonna throw themselves on floor and shouting like nobody business. Then people goes like, “Aiyo, what that mum like that one?”
What they do not know is, with the sugar level that my child consume is gonna kill me during night time. Owh! Of course I know it won’t kill but who is taking care of my children when they become owl at night? Or they fall sick due to too much of junk food? You are no suffering but ME!
So, rather be a bad guy than suffer. Accept it. You are a bad guy.
5. DBKL – eat the leftover
When comes to party or outing for meals (i.e. family gathering), you always eat the last. Well, maybe if you have only one child and a maid, you can eat together with the rest of the people but if you have more than one, *puff*, having a decent meal is a dream.
Ever since I have my second baby, I have not eaten a decent meal (unless I am out with my parents where they offer to let me eat first). Wait till everyone have finished their food (or at least the first round) then you can have your meal.
6. Invisible person
Accept the fact that you can no where to be found in the group photo – because you are either breastfeeding your baby or changing napkin or gods know what.
7. No me time – and learn how to cope with sleepless night
If you are a breast feeding mum, you know what I mean. Especially the first few months.
8. Lose of identity, people only know you as xxx’s mummy
Actually even my husband start calling me, Mummy, and I hate it!
Even thou I am a mum but I am still a wife, a daughter, a sister to someone. So why am I losing every role now? I still need to be loved and cared. Does it means that I can no longer be pampered once I have children?
Guess you have to learn to accept the fact that being a mum actually convert your life in every way. The role of a MOTHER have actually out place your other identity.
So now tell me, are you ready to be a mum?